Massachusets Ave

I still don't know all of the details, but I will do my best to recall. I first met her on Memorial Day. That night has been burned into my memory. Boston is a beautiful city at night, especially in the early summer. Looking at the skyline from the street, the blue lights at the very top of the Prudential Center form a ring. A ring that I see as the halo above her head. Just like I see her hand signing the 50-Foot “John Hancock” behind Fenway Park, or her lips kissing the CITGO above Memorial Drive, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Those are scenes from a photo shoot, and that was our first date, you still don't even know how we met. Like I said, it was Memorial Day, and I had recently moved to Bean town with a group of salesman for a summer program. She wasn't a native either. She was a student and a pastry chef. We grew up within 15 minutes of each other, but it was only after traveling 3,000 miles across the country that we could be at the same place at the same time. Fate? I don't believe in accidents. I also don't believe in Santa Clause, Aliens, or Love at First Sight. And that is what makes this story so unique. She had me from “Hello.” Actually, it was even before that. She had me the second I looked into her eyes. Homer chronicled the adventures of Odysseus and the siege of Troy, and he told tales of many fantastic creatures, including the Sirens. Beautiful women on jagged rocks that would sing melodies that melted and possessed any man that listened. I'm not saying she was Siren, and she certainly did not lead me to my own destruction. But I am saying that the very instant I connected with her eyes, time stopped and my life was divided asunder. It was divided into the days before I knew her, and the time since we met. I knew I would never be the same. The situation is a familiar one. Some of my friends had met some of her friends and we all decided to meet down by the river. There is a small bike path that runs along the Charles River in the middle of the city. At one point the path is framed on the North by a small park and the South by a small dock. Hippies from Berklee could usually be found smoking pot in the park or having a drum circle on the dock, but on this night, our group had the whole place to ourselves. I was among the last to arrive, and by the time I made my way to the party, it was already underway. I said my hello's to those that I knew, and had already spotted a blonde to make friends with, but I caught a glimpse of Her out of the corner of my eye. She was sitting on a wall, next to a boy with a guitar. A burly boy with a guitar. A burly boy, that I later found out routinely competed in Strong Man competitions, with a guitar. I mean, he didn't use the guitar in his Strong Man competitions, he used it to woo beautiful women, and I'm sure it worked. He was good, but I don't think he read the manual that came with the guitar, because he didn't know Rule Number 1: The guy with the guitar never gets the girl. He simply sets the mood so someone else can get the girl. I'm really glad he did, because I am sure I needed his help. When I swooped in and sat between him and Her on the wall, he should have known it was over, but he didn't. He continued to sit there and take requests and sing us love songs in the dark.


When I first introduced myself to her, she claimed to have known me from somewhere. I was certain she was mistaken. I would have remembered those eyes. I have always had a thing for redheads, and tend to seek them out. It was dark enough that I almost didn't notice hers. Almost. As I sat on that wall and talked to her, I could not take my eyes off of her. I felt an instant connection to her and I think she felt it too, because after a while on that wall, I took her by the hand and we walked by ourselves off into the night. The longer I spent with her, the more I felt she was familiar as well. Faintly. Vaguely. Almost hauntingly familiar. I remember a demonstration from a business meeting that used tuning forks. Ten tuning forks were placed on a table, nine tuned to the pitch of F and one tuned to G. An eleventh fork, also tuned G, was pulled from a pocket, struck, and waived in the air above the forks on the table. When it got near its partner, they both began to resonate, and the closer the contact the stronger the vibrations. When two things are made for each other, and they are brought in close contact, they feel it. Individually, and collectively. As I got closer to this woman, I knew I had found something special. More than that, I knew we were made for each other, and that we had found each other, and that true love was sitting with me in a bus-stop, on Massachusetts Avenue, holding my hand, and telling me stories. I eventually took her home, walked her to the door, and kissed her on the forehead... and held my breath until the next time I saw her.

"If you were with me tonight, I'd sing to you just one more time." -Jimmy Eat World

Vacation

So it has been two months since my last post. I have no excuses or apologies, instead I choose to move forward, and hope I still have some readers.

Where to begin. The last few months have been unique. All of my besties left for summer sales, save Rockband Mike, and Betty. Mike moved out/in with me to a L uxorious 3 bedroom town home just south of Campus, but Betty has been so buried in her work and travels that I have only seen her a couple of times. A few other formerly prominent figures were involved in serious feuds that dragged on much longer than necessary. Not all have even been resolved. However, I have learned a few things lately. Its so vital to be aware of your surroundings. I spent some time at the Lake. I had been sitting in the boat with no shirt for a while, and I noticed a slight tingling feeling on the exposed skin. Recognizing this stinging sensation as a warning sign that I would soon be sunburned, I put a shirt on, and covered the rest of my body with sunscreen. I didn't end up with a sunburn, instead, I actually got a pretty solid tan. I contrast this story to one I heard about this time last summer that involved a much more sun sensitive person being much less smart about sun exposure. It ended up with sun-poisoning, and blisters, and scars. What is the principle? There are a lot of things that get made worse by trying to ignore them until they go away. If you've got beef, grow up and squash it.

Regular Followers of this blog should recall many rants and raves and posts about how much I hate myself for falling short. I had such a great moment the other day that I would like to share. My 3rd Mission President just got home. He is very special to me. I can't begin to quantify the impact of this man's love and example have had on my life. He and his wife recently gave homecoming addresses that I was able to attend. The deep love and respect I have for the Pugh's leads me to hang on every word that they say. Sister Pugh gave an amazing talk about her mission, and her own feelings of inadequacy, and she taught a principle about the Atonement that resonated very deeply with me. She told the story of Elijah the Prophet and the Widow of Zarephath. Elijah meets this woman as she is gathering sticks to cook a last meal for herself and her son. This was in the middle of a famine that lasted 3 years. Elijah asks her to take her last handful of flour, and drops of oil to make bread for him to eat, and promises her that after she feeds him, she will never run out of food. She brings everything she has left to Elijah the Prophet. He eats and is filled. For MANY days he lived with her and her son; the barrel of meal that once contained only a handful was never found empty, nor was the cruse that once contained only a few drops of oil. The Woman gave all that she had, and the Lord was able to magnify it, and make it enough to meet her needs. Likewise, The Apostles once brought a few loaves and fishes to the Master and it was enough to feed thousands. I find a lot of comfort in those words. "All that I have, is enough"


"I got a Girl in the War, Paul, the only thing I know to do. Is turn up the music, and pray that she makes it through." - Josh Ritter

Apartheid

I learned a couple things today.

I went to a birthday BBQ that was being thrown by a friend to celebrate a birthday. I am such a Diva that I made him disinvite several people, before I would commit to attending. It was a solid party, well attended, and a good time was had by all. This friend was turning 22. Several of the guests at the party thought it would be a good idea to bring their children with them and let them run around in the yard. I'm sorry, but I do not feel old enough to attend social gatherings, with peers, that include children belonging to those peers. I know that things like this ONLY happen in Utah County, but I don't know why. How did we let ourselves get like so out of hand? Rugrats at a BBQ? Where I come from, cookouts include rowdy neighbors, large quantities of Alcohol, cursing, and talk of local sports teams and past sporting accomplishments. The craziest thing that went down in this yard was a little blonde Zoobie breaking out the Carlton Dance after winning a round of Nerts. Oh, I forgot to mention that as the crowd was finished grazing on burgers and Sprite (obey your Bishop, not your thirst) someone whipped out about 15 packs of cards and the Nertting began. I don't know why they don't call that game 'LaVell's Bells' or 'Bringin' it like Brigham' because I don't know of anyone outside of a 25 mile radius from the Marriott Center that owns 20 decks of marked cards.

That brings me to my next point. When guys who have served missions have a party, it will always be segregated into "Real Friends" and "Mission Buddies" and these two groups will never interact. I've seen it at homecomings, weddings, baby blessings, birthday parties, concerts, bonfires, and MLM meetings. As a third party, you can always tell which group is which too. Mission buddies just say hi to each other differently than real friends. They always light up, walk over, shake hands, and then stand there with arms folded and ask "What have you been up too since..." or "Man, remember that time we did that thing to Johnson?" or "Wait, you served with Anderson right?" One of the guys in this group will ALWAYS be wearing a white shirt, and another will always be wearing something that has BYU on it. Nothing brings people from completely different worlds together like a mission, and likewise nothing creates awkward semi-permanent friendships. But that is not true of my mission buddies. Those guys are the bee's knee's.

Remember how I mentioned disinviting people to parties so that other people would come? I'm sure I'm gonna take some heat on this, but I don't care, cause I am right, but I feel like if somebody crosses one of your friends severely enough, you are obligated, as a friend, to hold a grudge against that person, and not invite them to your birthday party. Its the same thing when your friend gets dumped. You are obligated to perform the following, usually in order:

1- You join in with your friend in talking about how much you didn't like the girl to begin with, what a ho she is, and how she'll never find anyone better and probably end up alone and miserable.

2- You try to stop all the 'Hollabacks' that are prone to occur in such situations because they always end up hurting the dumpee more than the dumper.

3- You try to end the Post-Break up self-loathing-sit-around-and-play-halo-all-day-while-feeling-sorry-about-myself stage by bringing your buddy Mario Kart wii and try to convince him to go with you to the Gym/Pool/Lake/Baseball Game or anything else to get him out of the house. If he cleans up and agrees, you get him in the car, and change the plan to take him to a place that will have lots of babes. Preferably, easy babes... and then....

4- You do everything you can to get as many babes to hit on or hook up with him as often and as soon as possible so that he forgets all about that stupid whats-her-name that broke his creepy little heart.

"I got a girl in the war Paul, the only thing I know to do, is turn up the music and pray that she makes it through." -Josh Ritter

Spock

I've been ridiculed about this all day, but I don't even care. I freakin' LOVED Star Trek. It was one of the most BA movies I've seen in a while. I am not even a Trekkie at all, but am seriously considering converting after this film. I'm going to try not to give away any spoilers, because I want all of my fans to go see this amazing film, cause it was just that awesome. I loved it in a completely opposite way than how I loved Twilight. I haven't seen a guy take a punch like Captain James Tiberius Kirk since Sly in Rocky V. Little Spock was SO BA! When he dropped that other little Vulcan tool-box into the Quiz-Pit and ate his lunch, I had flashbacks to Kind Edmund in Prince Caspian. And you know I don't give that much dap easily! Holy Cow, I also LOVED Harold as Sulu, and thought even George Takai would be proud. His switchblade samurai sword was awesome. I just loved it. Action packed! Go seeeeeee!!!

Further. I have been going through a phase. I'll tell some stories. I go to dinner last night at the Olive Garden with my cousin Jake, before we go meet up with some other people for the Star Trek movie. After we had been seated for a few minutes, they seat two Babes at a table across from us. Babes immediately begin checking me out. The checking out turns to staring and giggling. The staring and giggling turns into giving me eyes. The giving me eyes begins to really creep me out. All of a sudden, Babe reaches up to brush some hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear, and what do I see Gleaming on her left hand? Yup, and "I'm married" ring. I look closer, and babe number 2 also has a wedding ring. I begin to discuss with Jake the 'why's' of the situation. Why do two married babes go out to the OG on a Friday night? Doesn't a GNO usually involve a few additional friends? Where are the husbands? Why do these two babes feel like its OK to stare down the boys across the room? Why don't they at least hide their rings? WTF? I was seriously bothered by these Babes, I mean, I felt like a piece of meat, and I decided to give them a piece of my mind in return. As we were walking out of the restaurant, we had to pass their table. I stopped and said to them "I know your husbands don't satisfy you, but that doesn't make it OK to go out to the OG and eye-eff the guys across the room." And then walked off.

Story 2:
I was at the gas station today. I saw a car full of OBVIOUS 16 year-old pull up. You know the type? Listening to Avril Lavigne and acting like they are sk8r's and cool. Two boys, two girls, in a car daddy obviously just bought for his sweethearts sweet 16. Anywho, the one kid with the longest hair, gets out of the back, pulls his pants (most likely his sisters, cause I don't think his GF would have been able to fit into them) up from his knees, to about the upper-middle of his thighs. I guess those studded belts really weigh down your pants. We'll call him Darryl. So Darryl gets out of the car, and walks into the Gas station, everyone else stays in the car. I'm laughing cause I know exactly whats going on. Darryl is at the cash register by the time I had chosen a drink, so I get behind him in line. His purchase is still on the counter. You guessed it, 2 packs of Newports. I said out loud, "Holy Cow. Did you just use your fake ID to buy cigarettes for you and your friends? Oh my gosh, that's so badass! I hope your Mom doesn't find out, she'll give you a spanking!" He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, grabbed his Cig's off the counter and walked out to his friends and told them about the jerk at the check out that almost blew his cover.

Sometimes I just feel like being a jerk. Is that bad?

"I'm a new soul, came to this strange world, hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take. But since I came here, I felt the joy and fear, finding myself making every possible mistake." -Yael Naim

Mesatown

First off, I want to thank Hugh Jackman for bringing sexy back in his new movie, and proving the point I've been trying to for years:

That its perfectly fine for hairy men to run around naked all the time. Babes LOVE that!

Also, I went on a sweet vacation this weekend to Mesatown. It was beautiful. I got to spend lots of time with one of my favorite missionary pals. He has an MTV status crib in Gilbert, and put me up for a few days and nights. Super nice of him. He was also pretty good at showing me around town. Like on Friday, when he took me for a dirtbike ride through the desert for a couple hours... when we made it to the lake for some swimming and making fun of drunks.

We hit up B-Dubs. I freakin' love B-Dubs. My favorite part is the interactive trivia game they let you play against other patrons of the restaurant. Apparently, the 'Hot Wings' crowd usually aren't super savvy, so I always win. Nothing is more satisfying than dominating strangers at Trivia Games. Makes me feel like man.

I got to see one of my red-headed besties, her husband, and new baby girl. Nothing makes me feel old like watching babies grow up. I have been playing one of Dave's songs at shows and for friends for quite some time now, and I realized this weekend that I completely butcher it. I don't think that the SPR-fannation is going to hear Dr. Seuss anytime soon.

All my besties moved away to do summer sales so now I have nobody to hang out with and am sad.

And I got the Swine Flu in Mesa and thought I was gonna die. Turns out, I got better.

"Its a long way to heaven, its closer to Harrisburg, and that's still a long way from the place that we are. If evil exists, its a pair of train tracks and the Devil is a railroad car." - Josh Ritter

Brodeo

Faithful. I just realized how long its been since I have posted. I'm sorry. Nothing of note has been happening I guess, and even worse, I've still been really busy. Things with the band have been better than ever. I think we have had 3 shows since my last post. We almost broke up tonight while playing Mario Kart wii. But I think Mike forgave me for unpausing it without him knowing, while he was in the lead on the last lap of Rainbow Road. Poor guy.

I had a pretty great weekend actually. All my buddies have left, or are soon leaving the valley for the summer, (I guess thats what I get for kicking it with a bunch of APX salesman)so we spent most of of the weekend catching up before we sent them off. This is a tradition I've never really understood. I think its a little counterproductive to spend a lot of time with someone right before they leave for a long time, because right now all I can think of is how lonely I'm gonna be all summer without my besties, and the weekend we just spent chilling together just solidifies all the things I'm going to miss. I'm already sad. I don't want to talk about it.

Friday night we kidnapped Zac Efron. We wanted to increase the amount of 15-17 year old babes at out shows, so Mike D, Miller Genuine and I kidnapped him, to bring him to the shows. Well, actually, we stole a cardboard cutout of him that was on some random babes apartment in Provo. They were having a party inside at the time, full of sweet-bro's of course, but Mike D totally sacked-up, grabbed Zac off the balcony, and ran him to the car with sweet-bro's in hot pursuit. Mike D threw Zac in the back of Baberaham and I sped off burning rubber, and leaving the sweet bro's shaking their fists in futility. SSSOOO satisfying. We spent the rest of the night Ding-Dong ditching him on our friends porches, and taking incriminating photo's of him with us. Great times.

So we played a show at the MUSE to help some school in some really poor Southest Asia country. If you wanna learn more, check out my friend Steve's website. We brought Zac on stage with us during the second song. I put my Bob Dylan Harmonica Holder around his neck. He's pretty much in the band now. Good old Zac "mother" Efron. After the show we went back to The Centaur's, cause he is always up to host an afterparty, and hung out. At about 1AM, after all the babes had gone home, we were still rollin' 9 deep of dudes, several of whom I had not met before this night. We sat around the table and talked for a couple hours and honestly, it was one of the funnest nights I have had this semester. The conversations isn't really re-printable... but it was hilarious. I laughed for two hours straight and then I went outside and it was snowing.

Also, the Sox swept the Yankees. I love that.

"So I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road babe, where I'm bound, I can't tell. Goodbye is too good a word babe, so I'll just say fare-thee-well. I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind, you coulda done better, but I don't mind. You just kinda wasted my precious time. Don't think twice, it's all right" -Bob Dylan

Leon

So this post is basically a continuation of the same frustrations voiced in the last post, but in a different way. I don't know if me blogging about why I hate dating is boring to anyone... but its relevant to me right now and on my mind, so I will blog about it.

I had a very weird thing happen to me tonight. I have spent SO much time in my life out with the boys chasing babes. We used to have competitions with rules, prizes and penalties for who could collect the most Digits when we would go out. I know that may sound weird, but we did it, and I'm not ashamed. You would think after all these outings (hundreds, over a period of many years, literally) that one would become comfortable in them, and when presented with Golden Opportunities, would be able to perform. You would think. I was at Panda Express earlier tonight with two of my boys. In line behind us was a High School kid getting food for him and his folks, who were seated and waiting for him. In walks Babe, wearing this shirt --------------->
I was kind of staring at her because, A, She was cute, and B, I was trying to remember where I had seen that shirt before. So as to not creep her out, I said out loud, "I'm trying to remember where I have seen that shirt... American Apparel." She smiled and said "Yup." I said "I remember looking for one with a G on it, but they didn't have one." She replied with "Ya, I don't even know what the B stands for." I quickly said "Babe," and then turned my back to her as she accepted the compliment and said "Thanks, I'll take it." My friends and I continued our conversation and I didn't even look at her for the rest of the time we were in line. We got, and paid for our food, and made our way to a table. She did the same, but her meal was boxed up to go, however, she walked right past our table on her way out of the restaurant (I'm thinking this was to make sure we got a good look at her True Religion Jeans). When she had taken 3 steps past my table, I said in a strong voice, "Babe." She said "I can't believe you just called me that," as she did a three point turn and walked back to our table. I said "Why did you really choose the B?" She said it was because her name was Brittany, and she held out her hand to shake mine. I introduced myself and asked where she was off to in such a hurry. This is where I really lose it... she says "Um... just home to eat I guess... I'm not really doing anything tonight..." and I just sat there for about 15 awkward seconds, not saying anything, and then she was like "I'm gonna go now... I'll see ya around..." My friend, sitting across from me said, as she was walking out the door, "No, you probably won't." And she won't. I don't know if I clearly portrayed how bad she left the door open for me to get her number through this blog post, but lets just say french doors propped open with large stones. I've been beating myself up about this failure all night. I can't believe I didn't number-close that babe. Especially after I get on here and complain to everyone I know about the lack of legit babes, I totally waste golden chances to make new friends. I've been beating myself up about it all night. My friends didn't even need to make fun of me because I was so hard on myself. I couldn't believe I chumped out so bad. So now, I'm gonna be at work tomorrow thinking to myself, "Man, I wish I had a legit babe to text right now..." and then I'll remember how bad I dropped the ball and feel like Leon Lett!

Freak.

"Tell my mother, Tell my father, I've done the best I can. To make them realize, This is my life. I hope they understand. I'm not angry, I'm just saying... Sometimes goodbye... Is a second chance." -Shinedown