WARNING: I just read through this post, and it might make some of my older readers blush. Just saying...
I can only think of one time in my life that I have seen a Provo girl say no. It was in High School. I was part of a three-way group date, and we were making the drop-off rounds. One of my friends was walking his date, a 10 out of 10 Legit babe to the door. He leaned in for a smooch. She threw a forearm shiver, and literally hopped out of his grasp. Then she went inside, and when he returned to the vehicle, we all tried not to laugh. Tried. That babe has a little brother, that serves in the same mission I did. He goes around telling everyone that he is my cousin and makes up fake stories about our childhood shenanigans. Life really comes full circle.
I really don't want to be that guy. The one that goes around kissing girls that don't want to be kissed. It makes me sick to think about. I also don't want to be the guy that goes around and kisses everything that will kiss him back. Really, all I want is to be happy. I want to find a nice girl that loves me, and wants to come over to my house and do Yoga and make cakes with my Mom, play Wii and watch Disney with my sisters, and sit by a fire and sing love songs with me. I'm not even saying this is what I want for marriage. It would be a nice find to just hang out with for a while. I don't want a crazy, or a hooch, or tube of Ben-Gay (alternating Hot and Cold, get it?). Just a Legit Babe. I'm just getting really frustrated because lately it seems that I'm meeting lots of babes, and many of them are into me, but they are just crazy. I know some smart-a is gonna write back that it would take a crazy babe to be into me, and I agree, but that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is that I recently realized that my current patterns of behavior, especially those involving babes, are never going to get me where I want to be. Also, I think I figured out why...
I was leaving work the other day, and as I walked past some coworkers, I noticed they were complaining about Babes. I stopped and offered my opinion on a certain subject. They were struck by the quality of my advice, and offered another query. This spawned a 45 minute discussion about what a Pimp I am, how much tail I pull, and how they can be more like me, as I discoursed on Female Psychology mixed with Sales Theory; the only two things I know anything about. This exchange was fascinating, and I left it edified, but it wasn't until later that I realized how acutely I had called myself out. One of the gentleman present asked the question, "But what if you are consistently attracting the wrong type of people?" I answered immediately with "That's an easy one. There are those that say and believe that opposites attract, but that's not true at all. The truth is that you attract what you are, and what you portray. If you have a problem with who and what you are attracting, take a look at yourself and you will find that you are projecting an image that is drawing those people to you. Change your behavior, and you will change what kind of people are being brought into your life." Sounds like a pretty poignant wake up call for someone constantly complaining about how crazy all the babes are. Right now I'm recalling many recent events that lead me to believe that I'm not displaying a person I am proud of. Like today, a woman told me that I "ooze sexuality." WTF? That is not me. I mean, that could be the rockstar potion of my persona, but honestly I don't want to be oozing. I want to be charming, and attractive, but I don't want to be treated like piece of meat anymore. Anyway, I know that I'm rambling right now, but I am just really frustrated with the way I've allowed a couple specific relationships that I'm currently involved in get categorized into areas that are never going to lead to anything productive. Sucks.
"I didn't know, it would hurt so bad, to kiss her on the lips and remember the love that we had." -Band of Annuals
Oldies, but Awesome-ies
About Me
- Ryan Holdaway
- Freedom is my dominant thought. I find security when I am around people who tell me I am important. I crave attention. My name is Ryan, but my friends don't usually call me that. I enjoy making music, listening to music, and looking for music in the world around me. I like to make new friends, and remember old friends, and pretend that random people are my friends.
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3 comments:
I am THAT babe. lol. It's too bad I'm married and I live in AZ. Otherwise I would be baking the cake out of your mom. Maybe I could learn to differentiate between buttercream and.... not buttercream frosting. I guess we can still do that. Bring your mom back to my house. Thanks. P.S. I still think you should write a book about your shennanigans.
It was actually some high person in the church who said you attract what you are....pretty cool.
Good luck to ya buddy, go get em!
You little cutie: I am so glad that you are studying on these important aspects of your personality. One of the things that you might consider is the fact that people are always drawn to others who have huge amounts of self-confidence and humor. You know your Pap and he has both of these qualities (and lots more). You have developed these same atributes and this is what people find so great about you, that and the fact that you make others feel good about themselves. To say that these qualities make you ooz with anything is off the mark. Most folks don't recognize just what the specifics are that draw them to another person. You are great! It's no wonder that girlies, babes, cuties, whatever fall all over themselves gettin to ya, but there may be a few aspects of your personality that do draw the crazies. Up to you to figure out what those aspects are and tweak them back into the self confident, humourous guy that you are.
Pap and I love you and know that you will sort it out and when you do you will find that one and only one.
Love Gram
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